My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.