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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has shared:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has copied:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,025

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Seen just now on Twitch:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Just shared via Twitch:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Going viral on Discord:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Spotted on YouTube:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Spotted on Discord:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Spotted on YouTube:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.
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Commentary:
Looks like you're barking up the right tree! 🏑🐾 Who knew that becoming a rescue dog could lead to the ultimate ruff life in the countryside? πŸΆπŸ’Ό Time to start perfecting those tail-wagging skills and fetching those dreams! πŸ•βœ¨ #RescueDogGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has viewed:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has downloaded:

β€œIt can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has shared:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has shared:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Messenger:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Just landed via Telegram:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Making waves on WeChat:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Live now on Pinterest:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Just shared via Discord:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Live now on Messenger:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

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