Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, that spiderweb video was a crucial part of my phone's memory bank for so long, but it's time to make space for more important things like 100 more cat memes 📱🕷️🕸️ #PrioritiesShifted"

ago, delete, full, guess, humor, i, memory, phone, procrastination, second, spiderweb, storage, time, video, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

3 weeks ago

communication, humor, i, life, modern, modern life, relationship, reply, sarcasm, text, texting, timing
Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

1 month ago

ask, asking, conversation, humor, joke, menu, pharmacy, secret, secret menu
Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

4 weeks ago

bed, dominance, ending, humor, lazy, relaxation, show, year
Dance like China isn’t watching.

4 weeks ago

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching
I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

4 weeks ago

bad, diet, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, i, me, optimism, optimistic, positivity, self-deception, told
Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

4 weeks ago

bradshaw, carrie, Carrie Bradshaw, crush, culture, dating, feel, feelings, having, humor, love, most, pop, pop culture, real, relationship

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

85 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

25 shares on X this month:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

58 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

36 shares on Threads this month:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Going viral on Telegram:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Just landed via WeChat:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Going viral on Slack:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Trending via TikTok:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Dance like China isn’t watching.

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨