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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Live now on Instagram:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Making waves on Threads:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Spotted on Messenger:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Shared recently on Facebook:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.
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Commentary:
Just found out my good luck is courtesy of a tiny prayer powerhouse! Sending gratitude and a lifetime supply of cookie dough 🍀🙏🍪

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,646

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Spotted on Messenger:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Just shared via TikTok:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Trending via Pinterest:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

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