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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

16 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Just shared via Threads:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Seen just now on Discord:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Spotted on Reddit:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Trending via TikTok:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Making waves on Threads:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Seen just now on Instagram:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Making waves on YouTube:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

6 months ago

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha! 🤔 "May contain nudity" – thanks for the heads-up, rating board, because I was totally prepared to watch a movie and play detective on the whole naked/not naked situation. 😂 Like, is this a surprise strip show or what? 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Just another day in the confusing world of movie ratings! 🎥🍿 #NakedIsJustANormalTuesday

board, comedy, confusion, contain, critique, film, film critique, humor, just, movie, movie rating, naked, never, nudity, people, rating, ratings, ratings board, saw, someone, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

16 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Trending via Slack:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Just landed via Messenger:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Trending via Discord:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

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