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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Just shared via Slack:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Freshly posted on X:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Trending via YouTube:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Breaking via WeChat:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

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Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?
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Commentary:
Haha! 🤔 "May contain nudity" – thanks for the heads-up, rating board, because I was totally prepared to watch a movie and play detective on the whole naked/not naked situation. 😂 Like, is this a surprise strip show or what? 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Just another day in the confusing world of movie ratings! 🎥🍿 #NakedIsJustANormalTuesday

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Reddit this month:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Just landed via Reddit:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Going viral on YouTube:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Just landed via TikTok:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

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