Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Going viral on TikTok:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Trending via Twitch:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Spotted on X:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Breaking via Threads:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
🌙 "No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it's bed time." 😂 Seems like you've mastered the element of surprise as a parent! Your kids probably think you've unlocked a secret bedtime-extended cheat code! 🛌 #ParentingSurprises #BedtimeShenanigans

bed, bed time, every, family, humor, i, kids, night, night routine, parenting, routine, say, sleep, surprise, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Threads this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Shared recently on Discord:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Spotted on Twitch:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Going viral on Reddit:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Spotted on WeChat:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

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