Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.