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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2088 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,250

Funny Quotes Topics

14,991

Funny Quotes Images

12,250

3 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Live now on X:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Trending via Messenger:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Live now on Pinterest:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Going viral on Facebook:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Just landed via Discord:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Trending via WeChat:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

6 months ago

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

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Commentary:
Who needs the wild outdoors when you can witness the full spectrum of human behavior at the local mall? 🛍️🐅 It's like a safari of consumerism, complete with stampedes during sales and exotic creatures known as teenagers in their natural habitat. Just remember to pack your snacks and a pair of comfortable shoes for this urban adventure! 🍿👟

even, humor, mall, observation, society, trip, zoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2088 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,250

Funny Quotes Topics

14,991

Funny Quotes Images

12,250

3 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Breaking via Twitch:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Just landed via Discord:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Making waves on Discord:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Just shared via Telegram:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Going viral on Slack:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

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