Trendy Funny Quotes

  • You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?
  • My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  • I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.
  • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.
  • There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.