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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Live now on Instagram:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Making waves on WeChat:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Trending via Threads:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Going viral on Discord:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Seen just now on Slack:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

2 months ago

0

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sheer audacity of a new device trying to login… from the cozy confines of your own home! 🤔📱🏠 Quick, call Interpol! This is clearly a case for the world's top cyber secret agents to handle! 🔍🕵️‍♂️💼"

contact, day, device, every, house, humor, i, Interpol, irony, location, login, me, much, new, oh, phone, sarcasm, say, single, thank, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

0

5 months ago

anime, anime hair, brown, brown hair, color, color dysmorphia, dysmorphia, frustration, getting, hair, hair color, hair frustration, i, imagine, much, pissed, real
No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

0

2 months ago

better, comfort, comfort food, food, form, going, happiness, humor, joy, life, matter, motivation, positivity, potato
Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

0

2 months ago

another, click, computer, forget, going, humor, irony, password, put, remember, security, technology, text, thank
Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

0

2 months ago

again, fine, humor, independence, just, man, own, purpose, relationship, remind, reminder, self-reliance, simply, sometimes
“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

0

1 month ago

anxiety, hobby, humor, panicking, stress
Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

0

2 months ago

disassociation, funny moment, humor, i, late, moment, procrastination, self-care, shower, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That fight could’ve been an email.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Going viral on Slack:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Spotted on X:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Trending via YouTube:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Going bananas on X:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Making waves on X:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

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