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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Making waves on Discord:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Just shared via Threads:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just shared via TikTok:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Trending via Snapchat:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Shared recently on X:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

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One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, the future of safe sex just got a high-tech upgrade! 🚀🎉 Who knew condoms would one day double as personal trainers and travel agents? 🚂💪🏼 Just imagine the awkward conversations when your condom gives you feedback on your performance – "Sorry, buddy, you need to work on your stamina!" 😂 #FutureTechGoals #SmarterSex

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

68 shares on TikTok this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account is also in retrograde.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Live now on Twitch:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Just shared via Pinterest:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Just landed via Snapchat:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Making waves on Twitch:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

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