Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Breaking via TikTok:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Live now on WhatsApp:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Spotted on Twitch:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Going viral on Messenger:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Trending via WeChat:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Just shared via Messenger:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

1 week ago

Witty text imagining high-tech condoms with Bluetooth features for fun and futuristic humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, the future of safe sex just got a high-tech upgrade! 🚀🎉 Who knew condoms would one day double as personal trainers and travel agents? 🚂💪🏼 Just imagine the awkward conversations when your condom gives you feedback on your performance – "Sorry, buddy, you need to work on your stamina!" 😂 #FutureTechGoals #SmarterSex

bed, Bluetooth, calory, condom, day, fitness, good, humor, innovation, next, relationship, technology, tell, train

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

86 shares on Slack this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

87 shares on Discord this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

80 shares on X this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Making waves on Instagram:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Live now on YouTube:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Going bananas on Discord:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Breaking via Twitch:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴