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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

24 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Spotted on Telegram:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Shared recently on X:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Just shared via WeChat:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Trending via Messenger:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Spotted on X:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Trending via Snapchat:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Shared recently on Discord:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Trending via Threads:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Jan 23, 2025

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, the future of safe sex just got a high-tech upgrade! 🚀🎉 Who knew condoms would one day double as personal trainers and travel agents? 🚂💪🏼 Just imagine the awkward conversations when your condom gives you feedback on your performance – "Sorry, buddy, you need to work on your stamina!" 😂 #FutureTechGoals #SmarterSex

bed, Bluetooth, calory, condom, day, fitness, good, humor, innovation, next, relationship, technology, tell, train

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

24 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Spotted on TikTok:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Just shared via TikTok:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Going viral on X:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

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