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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Live now on Telegram:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Trending via Threads:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Breaking via Telegram:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Seen just now on Discord:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.
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Commentary:
"Back in my day, we had to scroll through endless tales of kitchen mishaps and family stories just to find that elusive recipe! 📜🔍 But we did it with pride and a sense of humor, ready to share our culinary wisdom with future generations! 🧓🏼👵🏽🍴 #RecipeAdventure"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

25 shares on X this month:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Trending via Twitch:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Going viral on YouTube:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Live now on WeChat:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Making waves on X:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

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