Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you're getting a daily workout from all those eye rolls? With that kind of exercise regimen, your eyes must be in tip-top shape and ready for the eye-lympics!"

body, body part, daily, daily routine, day, eye, eye roll, fitness, humor, joke, roll, routine, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

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2 months ago

childhood, computer, desktop, family, guys, memory, nostalgia, remember, share, technology, whole
Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

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2 months ago

beautiful, blowing, call, humor, phone, severe, severe thunderstorm warning, thunderstorm, warning, woman, women
I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

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1 month ago

aggression, anger, annoyance, day, discomfort, hope, humor, i, just, mad, passive, passive aggression, shoe, slide, sock, socks
I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

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4 weeks ago

candy, dark, dark room, eating, humor, i, illegal, irony, liked, me, movie, movie theater, room, seeing, silence, snack, talk, theater, thought, where
Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

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2 months ago

circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well
A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

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2 months ago

day, enough, expectations, experience, General, great, having, humor, irony, old, parenting, rule

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Facebook this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Just shared via Messenger:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Breaking via Reddit:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Just shared via X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Trending via YouTube:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Just landed via Slack:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Shared recently on Reddit:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨