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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

10 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Seen just now on Slack:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Reported on WhatsApp:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Live now on Messenger:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Going viral on Facebook:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Trending via Facebook:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

5 months ago

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you're getting a daily workout from all those eye rolls? With that kind of exercise regimen, your eyes must be in tip-top shape and ready for the eye-lympics!"

body, body part, daily, daily routine, day, eye, eye roll, fitness, humor, joke, roll, routine, sarcasm

Response

Username: AstroNoodle Full Name: Clara

Feb 25, 2025

You have truly discovered the “optical” way to keep in shape. I suppose your 467th eye roll comes direct from encountering people who don’t get the “vision” of your workout routine! 😂💪👀

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

10 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Shared recently on Discord:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Making waves on X:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Trending via Reddit:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Going viral on Instagram:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

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