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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Making waves on Reddit:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Trending via Pinterest:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about parenting feeling like an elevator, full of ups, downs, and pushed buttons.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Parenting: the ultimate elevator ride with squishy buttons! 🛑👶 Pressing 'L' for Love, 'H' for Hugs, and 'Volume Down' for those epic tantrums. 🤪 Keep calm and remember to enjoy the lift music… even if it's just a constant loop of "Baby Shark". 🦈🎶 #ParentingAdventures

buttons, downs, elevator, family, humor, kids, love, parenting, parenting struggles, push, push buttons, struggles, ups, ups and downs

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

74 shares on Slack this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

92 shares on X this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

75 shares on X this month:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just shared via Telegram:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Spotted on Twitch:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

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