Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.
  • The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.
  • Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.
  • My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.
  • Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.
  • We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.