Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.