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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

23 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Going viral on WeChat:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Live now on Facebook:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Just landed via TikTok:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Reported on YouTube:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Reported on Telegram:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Jan 25, 2025

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️🎬 "Plot twist: Mission Impossible: Really Really Impossible Edition! Watch as Tom Cruise takes on the ultimate challenge – a mission so impossible, even Ethan Hunt himself is like 'Wait, what?!' 😱 Will he succeed or will he finally meet his match? Coming soon to theaters near you… or maybe not, because, you know, it's impossible." 🤣 #MissionImpLOLs

comedy, fact, film, humor, impossible, mission, movie, plot, plot twist, twist, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

23 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Making waves on Telegram:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Trending via Threads:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Reported on X:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Making waves on Discord:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Going viral on Twitch:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Making waves on YouTube:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

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