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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,893

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Spotted on X:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When you say "hyperbole" like "guacamole," it's sure to make the party dip into laughter 🥑😂

guacamole, humor, hyperbole, language, pronunciation, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

1 month ago
coffee, cup, drink, empty, empty cup, funny interaction, guy, humor, i, interaction, IT guy, Java, joke, me, programming, say, show, workplace, workplace humor
No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

2 months ago
after, gut, humor, inner, inner voice, intuition, listen, regret, resentment, self, self-doubt, voice, yourself
Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

1 month ago
activity, five, game, humor, irony, people, risk, roulette, Russian, Russian Roulette, safe, safety, six, statistics
When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

1 month ago
anytime, birth, comedy, day, everyday, everyday humor, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, perception, relativity, sarcastic, say, time, yesterday
Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

1 month ago
asleep, charge, control, couch, funny observation, hand, humor, last, observation, remote, remote control, responsibility, sleep, weather, weeks
America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

1 month ago
America, anything, confusion, entertainment, happen, humor, just, know, plot, satire, show, storyline, television, too, TV, TV Show, writer, writers

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Spotted on WeChat:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Having a job ruined my life.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

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Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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