Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Shared recently on Threads:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Trending via WeChat:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Breaking via Discord:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Freshly posted on Threads:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Trending via WeChat:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Just shared via Snapchat:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you say "hyperbole" like "guacamole," it's sure to make the party dip into laughter 🥑😂

guacamole, humor, hyperbole, language, pronunciation, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

0

2 months ago

everything, existence, humor, irony, leave, life, nothing, perspective, strange, struggle, world
Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain damage, butterfly, damage, disappointment, give, humor, just, me, nobody, relationship, sarcasm
Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

0

2 months ago

bar, Binks, drinks, franchise, humor, opening, pub, pun, star, Star Wars, wars
My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

0

1 month ago

alone, awkwardness, blair, Blair Witch, corner, dinner, family, humor, role, Thanksgiving, witch
Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

0

2 months ago

animal, giraffe, having, humor, neck, pain, sore, sore throat, suck, throat
Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

0

2 months ago

after, crazy, disaster, even, history, humor, irony, pool, ship, still, think, Titanic, water, year’s

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I need a day off from myself.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

67 shares on Discord this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

43 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

56 shares on X this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Breaking via Discord:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Spotted on Instagram:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Just shared via Telegram:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Just shared via TikTok:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨