Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

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The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

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I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.