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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2017 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,179

Funny Quotes Topics

14,934

Funny Quotes Images

12,179

Updated

46 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Going viral on Instagram:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Spotted on Messenger:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Reported on Snapchat:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Making waves on Telegram:

Even if thereโ€™s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Just shared via X:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I canโ€™t even close my suitcase.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.
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Commentary:
"Who needs small talk when you have reverse cowgirl? ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ˜‰ Let your hips do the talking on that awkward first date! ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บ #CowgirlConfessions"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2017 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,179

Funny Quotes Topics

14,934

Funny Quotes Images

12,179

Updated

46 seconds ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Thunder is fake. It doesnโ€™t even sync up properly with lightning. Thereโ€™s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

Iโ€™m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

You can fake a smile, but you canโ€™t fake jazz hands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. Weโ€™re currently staring at each other.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Twitch:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Trending via X:

I am โ€œany text received after 9pm will be answered at 6amโ€ years old.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Iโ€™m so desperate for a vacation that at this point Iโ€™d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Just landed via WeChat:

Donโ€™t forget to make everything about you today.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Itโ€™s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize itโ€™s a stool.

Just shared via Slack:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

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