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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Trending via Twitch:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Spotted on Telegram:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Overthinkaholic!

Just shared via Snapchat:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Live now on Threads:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Just shared via Twitch:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Just landed via Facebook:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm better than the Gods' spiel. 🙄 Bold move, my friend. Let's hope they have a sense of humor up there. 💁‍♂️ Remember, even heroes can trip over their own cape sometimes! 🦸‍♂️ #HubrisAlert"

better, death, different, even, everyone, God, gods, hubris, humor, irony, killed, maybe, superiority

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

2 months ago

child, family, forever, humor, i, joke, know, parents, sarcasm, saying
Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

2 months ago

afterlife, bathroom, burial, death, humor, long time, me, pee, still, sure, time
Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

2 months ago

class, education, ending, hello, homework, humor, i, leave, lecture, main, movie, only, point, professor, reach, reading, right, sarcasm, student, timing, yell, yelling
Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

2 months ago

alcohol, better, drunk, fun, honesty, humor, left, people, social, things, unsaid
How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

2 months ago

cooking, food, humor, know, looking, mystery, observation, pasta, water
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

6 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

19 shares on Threads this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

76 shares on Reddit this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will sit in the rain about this.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Going viral on YouTube:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Making waves on Facebook:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Making waves on Twitch:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Freshly posted on X:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

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