Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,784

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Just shared via YouTube:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just shared via Instagram:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Spotted on Twitch:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Broadcasted on X:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

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Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.
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Commentary:
"Looks like you've got a keen eye for humor! 👁️😄 Who needs a vision test when all you really need is to see the eye doctor, right? 🤓👀 Here's to the other 10% of the test…may it be as clear as your eyesight after a check-up! 😉🔍"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

89 shares on Slack this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,885

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Going viral on WeChat:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Just landed via Telegram:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Trending via Reddit:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Live now on TikTok:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

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