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Commentary:
"Looks like you've got a keen eye for humor! 👁️😄 Who needs a vision test when all you really need is to see the eye doctor, right? 🤓👀 Here's to the other 10% of the test…may it be as clear as your eyesight after a check-up! 😉🔍"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

1 month ago
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Jingle all the way? In this economy?

1 month ago
Christmas, economy, financial, holiday, humor, jingle, struggle
Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

1 month ago
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If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

1 month ago
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Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

6 days ago
bank, being, broke, charge, fee, finance, going, humor, irony, money
I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

4 months ago
athletic, athleticism, confidence, humor, i, intelligence, joke, keep, man, most, sarcasm, scrolling, second, self-deprecating, world

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Just shared via X:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Just shared via Facebook:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

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Activity Log ✨

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

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Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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