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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

1 minute ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Trending via WeChat:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Freshly posted on X:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Spotted on X:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Going viral on YouTube:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Reported on WeChat:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Self-cleaning conscience.

6 months ago

Self-cleaning conscience.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive self-cleaning conscience – the ultimate cheat code for absolving guilt! 🧼✨ No need for any mental scrubbing or moral laundry – just set it on autopilot and voilà, a sparkling clean conscience ready for another round of mischief! 😉🧹 #ConscienceGoals

cleanliness, conscience, humor, introspection, self-cleaning, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

1 minute ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Going viral on X:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Reported on WeChat:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Trending via Twitch:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

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