Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.
  • Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.
  • Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!
  • There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.
  • Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.
  • If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.