Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Customer pulls a fast one on themselves, demands satisfaction or else they're outta there! 🤣📞 #CustomerServiceStruggles"

business, call, conversation, disguise, humor, me, prank, self-talk, speaking, take, voice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

0

5 months ago

bro, control, humor, literally, media, mind, mind control, program, programming, satire, TV, TV program, us
So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

0

3 weeks ago

account, am, bank, bank account, budget, Christmas, everyone, finance, getting, gift, holiday, humor, i, just, looks, money, spending, thought
I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

0

2 months ago

activity, bend, exercise, flexibility, floor, humor, i, keys, over, sure, yoga
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

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3 weeks ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

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2 months ago

Christmas, couch, dropped, gifts, humor, money, parenting, planning, save, saving, toddler, toys, wrapping, year
Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathrooms, family, finish, full, home, house, humor, internet, just, life, life tip, patience, prank, someone, tip, turn, waiting, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

58 shares on X this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

36 shares on WeChat this month:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Trending via TikTok:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Just shared via Twitch:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨