Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.