Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the blissful ignorance of billions! 🌍💭 Don't worry, you're too fabulous to be missed by all of them anyway! 💁‍♂️💫 Just remember, it's their loss for not recognizing your awesomeness! 😄🌟

billions, care, humor, loneliness, moment, perspective, planet, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

1 week ago

alone, asking, bastards, dumb, forgetfulness, humor, know, lazy, lazy pet, living, living alone, never, pet, pets, phone, seen, talking, talking to pet
I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

2 months ago

apartment, barks, day, device, exercise, humor, i, me, motivation, poops, steps, taken, technology, today
Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

2 months ago

airport, cost, everything, humor, just, me, observation, prices, shopping
I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

2 months ago

again, book, books, distraction, finish, going, humor, i, internet, procrastination, reading, soon, start
“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

2 months ago

awkwardness, beats, coworker, finance, humor, i, in-person, interaction, know, love, nothing, social, someone
Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

2 months ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., again, am, being, deprivation, getting, ghost, hearing, hoping, humor, just, means, night, noise, parent, parenting, sleep, sleep deprivation, toddler

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

80 shares on Slack this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Trending via TikTok:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Spotted on Telegram:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Seen just now on Facebook:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Breaking via TikTok:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Going viral on Discord:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨