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Commentary:
Suddenly, I’m grateful to movie soundtracks for doing what my Spotify algorithm couldn’t—finding musical gems, one epic car chase at a time! 🎶🎬🎵

discovery, humor, masterpiece, movie, song, songs

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85 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

45 shares on X this month:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

36 shares on Slack this month:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

35 shares on Threads this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life is weird and then you die.

Just shared via Slack:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Going viral on YouTube:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Shared recently on Slack:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Going viral on Reddit:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

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Activity Log ✨

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨