Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

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It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

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At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.