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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Live now on Reddit:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Just shared via Facebook:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Live now on Reddit:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Just shared via Twitch:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Shared recently on X:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When your research sources are vibes, dreams, and a magic 8 ball 🎱✨🔮

cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

0

1 month ago

appreciate, appreciation, communication, drunk, drunk text, friendship, humor, intoxication, message, someone, straight, text, texting, texts, think, thought
Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

0

2 months ago

desire, dream, dreams, eating, follow, food, humor, i, motivation, taco, wanted, yesterday
If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

0

2 months ago

better, better person, driving, driving humor, honk, humor, i, irony, maybe, person, rage, road, road rage
The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

0

2 months ago

activity, around, bang, catch, class, crates, critter, crush, easy, eat, fun, fun activity, game, giant, head, humor, jump, Mario, mushroom, super, Super Mario, video, video game, want
I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

0

1 month ago

communication, humor, i, joke, only, speak, squeak, witty, wordplay
Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

0

2 months ago

DIY, every, floor, humor, i, loose, maintenance, odd, screw, think, thoughts, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

27 shares on X this month:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

95 shares on Slack this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Making waves on Instagram:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Just shared via WeChat:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨