Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending via Reddit:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Just shared via TikTok:

Meow means woof in cat.

Making waves on YouTube:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When your research sources are vibes, dreams, and a magic 8 ball 🎱✨🔮

cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

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Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

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The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

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Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

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Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

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Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

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2 months ago

AI, birthday, birthday wish, ChatGPT, copy, dating, expectations, girls, guys, handwritten, handwritten letter, humor, letter, letters, technology, wish, wishes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

80 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

29 shares on X this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

17 shares on Threads this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Just shared via Discord:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Spotted on Messenger:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Just landed via Discord:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Just landed via WeChat:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Making waves on Facebook:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Making waves on Telegram:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨