Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.
  • The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?
  • You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.
  • If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?
  • I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.
  • My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.