Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who said optimism had to be hard work? 😂💭 Embrace the joy of knowing that your cozy bed awaits you in just 17 short hours! Sweet dreams, dreamer! 💤✨"

back, bed, day, day start, hours, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, motivation, positive, positive thought, procrastination, routine, short, sleep, start, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

2 months ago

anything, better, everything, humor, irony, know, know-it-all, shame
Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

2 months ago

diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

2 months ago

advice, behavior, child, curiosity, going, parenting, rules, something, temptation, touch
The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

2 months ago

bring, financial, humor, i, income, irony, money, only, spending, talent
Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

3 months ago

expression, freedom, freedom of speech, humor, idiots, irony, know, society, speech
They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

2 months ago

call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Just shared via TikTok:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Live now on YouTube:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Live now on Slack:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Just landed via TikTok:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Spotted on Threads:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨