Trendy Funny Quotes

  • There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.
  • Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
  • I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
  • I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.
  • Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.
  • My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.