Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.
  • Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.
  • Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.
  • My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.
  • I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.
  • I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.