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"Who knew that dining out was just a fancy way of indirectly feeding the porcelain throne? 🤔🚽💸 Next time you treat yourself to a meal, remember, you're just investing in the plumbing system! 😂🍽️ #FoodForThought"

diet, ever, finance, food, humor, i, money, satire, spending, spent, toilet, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

1 month ago
comfort, couch, dr., Dr. Seuss, humor, place, relaxation, seuss
We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

2 months ago
anxiety, app, call, calls, communication, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, need, outsourcing, pay, phone, phone call, social, social anxiety, social interaction, technology, where
This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

4 weeks ago
anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site
Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

1 month ago
appetite, burger, date, food, frustration, fun, humor, release
I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

1 month ago
battery, charged, charging, daily, daily life, humor, i, lay, lazy, life, phone, procrastination, relatable, suck, taking, technology
I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

1 month ago
abstract, abstract art, art, black, black shirt, deodorant, every, humor, i, lot, self-deprecation, shirt, shit, someone, talk

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

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Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Just shared via Slack:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Making waves on Reddit:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Live now on Instagram:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

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Activity Log ✨

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

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Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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