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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Seen just now on Threads:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Just landed via Threads:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Just shared via WeChat:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Just landed via Instagram:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Spotted on Threads:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Shared recently on X:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

2 months ago

0

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic reverse psychology at play! 🙈 It's like giving a kid a challenge they just can't resist. Don't touch that, they said. But now it's like a neon sign saying "Touch Me!" Kids are sneaky little rebels, aren't they? 😂 #CuriosityWins

advice, behavior, child, curiosity, going, parenting, rules, something, temptation, touch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

0

2 weeks ago

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise
I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

0

4 months ago

bed, body, getting, getting out of bed, handle, humor, laziness, morning, morning struggle, much, nonsense, struggle, sure, tired
Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

0

2 months ago

bro, events, fine, impossible, just, need, odds, order, perfect, play, sequence
Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

0

4 days ago

dating, hell, humor, i, know, relationship, spot, take, woman, women
If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

0

2 months ago

choose, date, decision, humor, irony, men, relationships, same, take, women
I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

0

5 months ago

activity, adult, adults, break, close, fun, fun activity, i, job, jobs, just, months, need, outside, play, please, relaxation, summer, summer vacation, think, three, tired, vacation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Slack this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

22 shares on Discord this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

49 shares on X this month:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Making waves on Telegram:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Breaking via Threads:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Just landed via Telegram:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

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