Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.