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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Making waves on Messenger:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Going viral on Messenger:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Just shared via Threads:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Just landed via Discord:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Humorous quote about rice cakes and the taste of nothingness, playful and witty.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rice cakes: the snack that makes you question existence 🤔 Who knew something with 'nothingness' in the description could be so crunchy and bland? 😂 #RiceCakeEpiphanies"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

76 shares on Discord this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

27 shares on X this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

57 shares on X this month:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Going viral on YouTube:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Trending via Facebook:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Just landed via Instagram:

That friend who asks too many personal questions? He’s not concerned. He’s collecting.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Breaking via Discord:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Spotted on X:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Going viral on Slack:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

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