Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Jan 11, 2026

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Snapchat:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Spreading quickly via X:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Just shared via WeChat:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Going viral on TikTok:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Breaking via Pinterest:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

2 months ago

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous pile of clothes, the mysterious entity that defies all logic and grows taller with each passing day! 👕🧦 It's like a magical creature playing a never-ending game of Jenga on your bed! 🌟 Who knew laundry could be so mischievous and persistent? Perhaps it's time to call for backup – the laundry fairy, anyone? 🧚‍♂️✨

bed, clothes, funny observation, humor, laundry, mess, observation, own, pile, powers, procrastination, strange

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

2 months ago

ChatGPT, conversation, crazy, health, humor, mental, mental health, online, online conversation, schizophrenia, schizophrenic, technology, turning, venting
My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

2 months ago

away, chess, eating, every, humor, look away, pieces, strategy, time
Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

2 months ago

aloud, awkward, awkward situation, book, flight, humor, i, just, middle, middle seat, over, reading, seat, seatmate, should, sitting, situation, start
Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

2 days ago

ad, ads, age, attention, balance, consumer, demographic, digital, digital age, flow, humor, let, marketing, pay, personalized, personalized ad, soul, spirituality, through, touch
Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

3 months ago

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing
Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

2 months ago

annoyance, distraction, enough, everyone, headphones, humor, i, need, noise, shut, shut up, silence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Just landed via Facebook:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Broadcasted on X:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Trending via WeChat:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Spotted on Telegram:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

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