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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

17 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Making waves on Messenger:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Trending via X:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Just shared via WeChat:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Spotted on Threads:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

6 months ago

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

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Commentary:
Ah, the infamous pile of clothes, the mysterious entity that defies all logic and grows taller with each passing day! 👕🧦 It's like a magical creature playing a never-ending game of Jenga on your bed! 🌟 Who knew laundry could be so mischievous and persistent? Perhaps it's time to call for backup – the laundry fairy, anyone? 🧚‍♂️✨

bed, clothes, funny observation, humor, laundry, mess, observation, own, pile, powers, procrastination, strange

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

17 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Trending via Threads:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Going viral on Messenger:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Going viral on Instagram:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

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