Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just landed via Telegram:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Live now on TikTok:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Going viral on Twitch:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Trending via Facebook:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Just shared via Telegram:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Making waves on YouTube:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like their career lifeline is blue and stretching across a few light years! 🎬🐾😄

actor, actors, Avatar, Hollywood, job, job security, movie, security, signed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

0

3 months ago

AI, brushing, brushing teeth, conservation, corporation, environment, faucet, humor, i, ruin, spend, teeth, turning, water, water conservation, while
Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

0

2 months ago

am, call, early, early hour, hour, humor, just, mean, media, morning, phone, posts, privacy, routine, sarcasm, sharing, social, social media, wake, wake up
I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

0

5 months ago

age, around, build, i, memory, riding, say, surprise, town
Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

0

2 months ago

before, being, communication, email, emails, exclamation, exclamation point, expectation, gender, humor, just, point, send, woman, writing
Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

0

2 months ago

activity, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, fun, fun activity, humor, party, relaxation, Thanksgiving, theory
I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

0

2 months ago

day, day off, going, humor, joke, just, lighthearted, printer, procrastination, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

46 shares on Threads this month:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

52 shares on X this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Just shared via X:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Just shared via YouTube:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Trending via WeChat:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨