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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2033 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,195

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,195

2 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Trending via Telegram:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Spreading quickly via X:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Breaking via WeChat:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

6 months ago

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

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Commentary:
Ah, the mystical allure of the trombone! 🎶🎺 It is the mysterious art form where your skills remain shrouded in ambiguity, a musical enigma wrapped in a brass puzzle. Who's to say if your performance is masterful or merely a well-crafted illusion? The trombone player walks a tightrope between genius and obscurity, a true enigma in the world of music. 🤔✨🎵 #TromboneMystery

activity, fun, fun activity, good, great, humor, instrument, knows, music, performance, playing, skill, talent, thing, trombone, unknown

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2033 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,195

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,195

2 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Spotted on WeChat:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Live now on TikTok:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Trending via TikTok:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Spotted on YouTube:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Going viral on Facebook:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

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