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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

30 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Spotted on YouTube:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Spotted on Twitch:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Just shared via X:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

3 months ago

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

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Commentary:
Ah, yes, the audacity of embracing calm in a chaotic world – the ultimate act of defiance! 🌟✨ Who knew that lounging on the couch could be such a radical statement? 😄💆‍♂️ Just imagine the sheer disruption caused by someone peacefully sipping their tea without a care in the world! 🍵🌎💥 So go ahead, rebel against the hustle and bustle by chilling out with gusto! 🕶️

act, rebellion, relax, relaxation, unconditional

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

30 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Freshly posted on X:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Making waves on Messenger:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Spotted on Slack:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Just landed via Instagram:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Reported on Snapchat:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

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