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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Just shared via Slack:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Just shared via X:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Spotted on Facebook:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Going viral on Instagram:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Trending via YouTube:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Just landed via Threads:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Making waves on Threads:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

2 months ago

0

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a classic case of me vs. me showdown: the coupon-clipping warrior vs. the impulse-buying sidekick! 💸💪 Time to get these two personalities on the same page before the shopping chaos ensues! 🤪 #CouponClippingVsImpulseBuying

better, budgeting, communicate, coupon, humor, me, needs, personality, self-talk, shopping, store

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

0

2 months ago

case, cold, context, day, embarrassment, humor, me, nude, nudes, self-deprecation, should
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

0

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

0

2 months ago

amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly
Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

0

2 months ago

age, around, candy, childhood, cigarettes, humor, innocence, memory, nostalgia, smokers, thing, used
Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

0

2 months ago

activity, big, big H, creativity, funny idea, garden, h, helicopter, i, idea, luck, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, trap, wish, wish luck
At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

0

2 months ago

comedy, forgot, gym, headphones, help, humor, i, isolation, listen, own, self-reflection, send, solitude, thoughts, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

45 shares on Threads this month:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

72 shares on X this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

97 shares on Discord this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked by better.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Trending via X:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Trending via Slack:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Just landed via X:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

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