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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2057 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,219

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,219

5 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Going viral on Slack:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Spotted on Instagram:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Live now on TikTok:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Just landed via Reddit:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Breaking via WeChat:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Breaking via Twitch:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

6 months ago

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a classic case of me vs. me showdown: the coupon-clipping warrior vs. the impulse-buying sidekick! 💸💪 Time to get these two personalities on the same page before the shopping chaos ensues! 🤪 #CouponClippingVsImpulseBuying

better, budgeting, communicate, coupon, humor, me, needs, personality, self-talk, shopping, store

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2057 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,219

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,219

5 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Live now on Snapchat:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Trending via YouTube:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Trending via WeChat:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Just landed via Threads:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

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