Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Spotted on Telegram:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Making waves on Threads:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Seen just now on YouTube:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Going viral on TikTok:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully – losing body parts along the way 🤷‍♂️ Just remember to pick 'em up if you find 'em! 🦵🔜🙈"

aging, body, body part, changes, day, getting, getting older, humor, i, just, less, life, life changes, older, randomness, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, communication, excuse, humor, husband, just, let, marriage, me, procrastination, relationship, using, whatever, wife
“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

0

2 months ago

easy, family, family life, humor, kids, life, morning, parenting, people, relaxation, say, sleep, something, Sunday, Sunday morning
If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, dating, faster, gamer, humor, relationship, roll, walking
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

0

2 months ago

amount, attitude, cash, confidence, dollar, gas, gas station, here, humor, humor quote, imagine, just, me, money, over, sarcasm, station, witty
You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

0

2 months ago

costume, costume safety, fly, flying, humor, label, labels, safety, superhero, superman, Superman costume, telling, warning, warning label, why
I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

0

2 months ago

confidence, confusion, doing, good, hell, humor, i, irony, know, mastery, self-awareness, skill

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

52 shares on Slack this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

14 shares on X this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Trending via Messenger:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Live now on WeChat:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨