Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

13 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Just landed via Discord:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Going viral on Instagram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Live now on WeChat:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

6 months ago

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classroom – where parents' secrets go to get a PhD in "public knowledge"! 🤭📚 Little do most parents know that their kids are the ultimate informants in the school gossip network. 🕵️‍♂️📝 It's like having a tiny espionage agent infiltrating your personal space! 😅🔍 #ParentalSecretsExposé

child, classroom, honesty, i, need, parent, parents, realize, secret, share, thing, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

13 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Reported on Discord:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Just landed via X:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Breaking via Slack:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Trending via Twitch:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Making waves on Discord:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴