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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

18 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Reported on Instagram:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Spotted on WeChat:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Just shared via X:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Trending via Threads:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

6 months ago

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

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Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate balance of feline foolishness! 🐱🤪 Bringing two cats into your home is like starting a never-ending comedy duo act. One provides the laughs with its baffling dumb decisions, while the other keeps you on your toes with its perpetual peskiness. It's the perfect recipe for a madcap household! 😂🐾"

animal, annoying, both, cat, cats, dumb, humor, needs, number, perfect, perfect number, pet, same, sibling, siblings, stupid, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

18 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Just shared via Slack:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Trending via X:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Seen just now on TikTok:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Trending via WeChat:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

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