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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Making waves on Reddit:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Going bananas on Instagram:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about the hilarious chaos of sibling cats with contrasting silly personalities.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate balance of feline foolishness! 🐱🤪 Bringing two cats into your home is like starting a never-ending comedy duo act. One provides the laughs with its baffling dumb decisions, while the other keeps you on your toes with its perpetual peskiness. It's the perfect recipe for a madcap household! 😂🐾"

animal, annoying, both, cat, cats, dumb, humor, needs, number, perfect, perfect number, pet, same, sibling, siblings, stupid, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

48 shares on Threads this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

80 shares on X this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Salary week, but salary weak.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Live now on Reddit:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Going viral on Reddit:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Just landed via Twitch:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Live now on YouTube:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

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