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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2245 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,407

Funny Quotes Topics

15,114

Funny Quotes Images

12,407

33 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Going viral on Threads:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Seen just now on Discord:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Trending via WeChat:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Shared recently on Threads:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Making waves on Slack:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

6 months ago

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

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Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of embracing your uniqueness and oddities! 🦄✨ It's time to ditch the norm and let your quirky flag fly high. After all, who wants to be even when you can be delightfully odd? Embrace the oddness in you and watch the magic unfold in the second half of your life! 🌟 #EmbraceYourOddity

age, change, even, growth, humor, life, maturity, odd, perspective, second, start, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2245 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,407

Funny Quotes Topics

15,114

Funny Quotes Images

12,407

33 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Seen just now on Threads:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Trending via Instagram:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Just shared via Discord:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

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