Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?
  • For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.
  • Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.
  • There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.
  • I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.
  • I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.