The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

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If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

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They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

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I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

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A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

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The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

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Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

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Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

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I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

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Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

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I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.