Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Going viral on Telegram:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Live now on Telegram:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Just landed via Instagram:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

0
The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, because what's more oppressive than a word that even autocorrect struggles with? 🤓💼 But hey, at least we can all take solace in the fact that we're not alone in our linguistic struggles… solidarity, fellow spelling warriors! ✊🏼🔤

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

God saw you do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Trending via X:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴