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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Just landed via X:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Making waves on Messenger:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Breaking via WeChat:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Spotted on X:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Trending via Facebook:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Making waves on WeChat:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about the hassle of repositioning a stationary bike for the return.

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Commentary:
"Who knew exercise could be this challenging? 🚲💪 Next, they'll ask us to plank while spinning! 🔁😂 #GymProblems"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

99 shares on Slack this month:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

73 shares on Twitch this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Shared recently on Threads:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Just landed via WeChat:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Going viral on Twitch:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Going viral on Messenger:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨