Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Just shared via X:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Live now on Reddit:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Trending via Slack:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Breaking via Instagram:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew exercise could be this challenging? 🚲💪 Next, they'll ask us to plank while spinning! 🔁😂 #GymProblems"

around, bike, exercise, hate, having, humor, i, pick, pick-up, return, return trip, stationary, stationary bike, thing, trip, turn, turn around, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, body, body image, fake, fake information, humor, i, image, information, mirrors, refuse, scales, self-perception
Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

0

2 months ago

apology, confidence, delete, humor, media, mistake, please, post, pretty, reply, sarcasm, self-deprecating, social, social media, stupid, wit, yes
My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, conditioner, embarrassment, front, funny moment, having, humor, just, me, misunderstanding, moment, neighbor, noise, relationship, sex, standing, today
Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

0

2 months ago

break, die, humor, jealousy, just, phone, rest, technology
Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, i, idiot, miss, nostalgia, only, people, simplicity, society, sometimes, time, village
Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bike, care, childhood, E.T., Elliott, ET, flying, flying bike, fun, just, movie, movie reference, reference, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

55 shares on Slack this month:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Trending via Slack:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Just landed via WeChat:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Going viral on Reddit:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Seen just now on Slack:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Trending via YouTube:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨