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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Trending via Discord:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Just landed via Messenger:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Making waves on Discord:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Making waves on YouTube:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Trending via TikTok:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

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The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
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Commentary:
Wow, sounds like the USA is really going through a rough patch! 👻 Maybe they should check if all those construction sites were on ancient Indian burial grounds after all! 💀 Let's hope they can appease those restless spirits with some good old American ingenuity and resilience! 🇺🇸✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

83 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

65 shares on Slack this month:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Just landed via Reddit:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Trending via WeChat:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Going bananas on Threads:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Making waves on TikTok:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

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