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Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

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Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

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Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

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Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

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I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

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I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

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“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

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I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

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That fight couldโ€™ve been an email.

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Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

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The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling realm of the web: a place where we willingly invite strangers into our digital lives… What could possibly go wrong? ๐Ÿ™ˆ Just remember, not all followers are created equal – choose wisely! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ #StrangerDanger"



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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

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This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

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Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

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In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

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I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

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Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

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Sorry I canโ€™t carpool to work. Thatโ€™s the time I use to angry scream.

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I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

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Pomegranates are worth the mess.

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Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

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