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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Shared recently on X:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Going viral on Discord:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Trending via Telegram:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Breaking via Slack:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

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The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.
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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle between wanting a nap and not wanting to mess up your bedtime routine! 😴⏰ It's like being in the time zone of indecision! ⏳😂 Just remember, there's always Netflix to help bridge that gap! 📺🌙 #TheStruggleIsReal

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

65 shares on Slack this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

90 shares on Facebook this month:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

63 shares on X this month:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,973

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Making waves on Twitch:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Breaking via X:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Just shared via YouTube:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Making waves on YouTube:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

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