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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Just landed via Discord:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Spotted on Reddit:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Just shared via WeChat:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Just landed via Telegram:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Shared recently on X:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Making waves on Messenger:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about popcorn with a humorous take on snack chaos and regret.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's the eternal struggle of popcorn lovers everywhere – the fine line between a snack and a full-blown popcorn feast! 🍿😂 It's a slippery slope from "just a handful" to "oops, I ate the whole bucket." But hey, no regrets when it comes to popcorn, right? 🤷‍♂️ #PopcornProblems

done, enough, humor, i, movie, movie night, night, not enough, popcorn, quantity, regret, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

20 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Just shared via Slack:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Going viral on TikTok:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Just landed via X:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Just landed via YouTube:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

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