Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.
  • I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.
  • No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.
  • Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.
  • Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.
  • β€œWhat’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.