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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Live now on Messenger:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Just shared via Discord:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Seen just now on Facebook:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

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There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done
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Commentary:
That's the eternal struggle of popcorn lovers everywhere – the fine line between a snack and a full-blown popcorn feast! 🍿😂 It's a slippery slope from "just a handful" to "oops, I ate the whole bucket." But hey, no regrets when it comes to popcorn, right? 🤷‍♂️ #PopcornProblems

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

84 shares on X this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

79 shares on TikTok this month:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

19 shares on Threads this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,728

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Going viral on TikTok:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Trending via Pinterest:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Making waves on TikTok:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Making waves on Slack:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Just shared via Slack:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Spotted on X:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Making waves on YouTube:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Trending via WeChat:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

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