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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Going viral on Twitch:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Breaking via Snapchat:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Just shared via WeChat:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

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There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done
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Commentary:
That's the eternal struggle of popcorn lovers everywhere – the fine line between a snack and a full-blown popcorn feast! 🍿😂 It's a slippery slope from "just a handful" to "oops, I ate the whole bucket." But hey, no regrets when it comes to popcorn, right? 🤷‍♂️ #PopcornProblems

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

98 shares on X this month:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

90 shares on X this month:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

15 shares on Threads this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

31 shares on Slack this month:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Spotted on TikTok:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Spotted on Instagram:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Spotted on WeChat:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

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