Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Making waves on Pinterest:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Making waves on TikTok:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Just shared via Discord:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Just landed via X:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

1 month ago

Playful quote about the joy of no alarm clocks the next day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of freedom from the dreaded alarm clock ⏰! It's like a mini celebration for your tired soul 🎉. No more snooze button battles or waking up in a panic – just pure, uninterrupted sleep! So go ahead, savor the moment and sleep in like a champion 😴💪!"

alarm, alarm clock, better, clock, day, freedom, leisure, next, next day, no work, nothing, relaxation, rest, sleep, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

12 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

85 shares on Slack this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Going viral on Messenger:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Just landed via Threads:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Spotted on Discord:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Just shared via Facebook:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Just landed via Reddit:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Just shared via YouTube:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Making waves on TikTok:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Live now on Slack:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

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