Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Just landed via Threads:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Going viral on Threads:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Making waves on X:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Making waves on X:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about feeling closely watched, comparing monitoring to Britney Spears' intense scrutiny.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you need a pop star's permission to get a coffee break 😂☕👀

around, britney, Britney Spears, celebrity, harder, here, humor, me, monitor, monitoring, oversight, spears, surveillance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

3 weeks ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

6 days ago

affection, cat, domesticate, follow, home, humor, i, ID, let, me, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat
The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

3 weeks ago

client, Epstein, humor, joke, list, Mambo, music, number, parody, tune
I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

3 weeks ago

age, coffee, cup, drink, home, humor, i, morning, old, real, real cup, still
If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

7 days ago

body, clothing, fashion, humor, leggings, question, stomach, why, wordplay
Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

3 weeks ago

california, driving, dude, feel, gesture, humor, making, me, memory, nostalgia, nostalgic, rage, road, road rage, rude, rude gesture, shout, thank, traffic

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

76 shares on Threads this month:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

76 shares on Slack this month:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going viral on Discord:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Spotted on Messenger:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Just shared via Facebook:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Just shared via Slack:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Making waves on Instagram:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Shared recently on Threads:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨