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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

49 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Going viral on WeChat:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Just shared via Instagram:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Spotted on Instagram:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Just shared via Reddit:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Jan 27, 2025

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤔 Maybe a customer service center with a magical hotline that actually transports you to a stress-free, problem-solving wonderland instead of making you listen to elevator music for hours on end. 🧚‍♂️✨ Let's hope the "higher than normal call volume" excuse becomes a thing of the past! 📞🙅‍♂️

call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

49 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Breaking via Instagram:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Just landed via WeChat:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Spotted on YouTube:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Breaking via YouTube:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

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